i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
