Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
