AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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