I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she peed on how many people?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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