Already got asked if we're dating
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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