No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
