chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
