she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
