Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You need a sexual gate keeper
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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