I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
