this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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