does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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