I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
