cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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