I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
