I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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