so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
