in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
