So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
