i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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