I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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