I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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