Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
