wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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