Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
