you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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