You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
