I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
