think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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