i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
