It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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