drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
