No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I want is dick and wine.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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