Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
