pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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