i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
