And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
