Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
