I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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