: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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