Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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