i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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