so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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