I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
