I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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