i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
