She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Two words: nipple clamps
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