I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
