She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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