Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
