pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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